About a week after Thanksgiving 2010 my husband and best friend walked out on me. Let me just say this - I was completely blindsided. From my perspective we had a great relationship, beautiful family, and a wonderful life. He informed me on his way home from work one night that our marriage was over and I needed to 'accept it'. In an instant I was thrown into my worst nightmare.
My soon-to-be-ex and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. I stood by him as he went off to war a year into our relationship and waited 1.5 years for him to return from Ramadi, Iraq. I have watched him and supported him as he went from a college grad who was waiting tables to having a very successful career in the government, which meant that he spent a lot of time away from home... I didn't mind, he was off protecting our citizens and our Country and I was so proud of him and his work. I was happy and excited to see him advance in his career - it gave me a lot of satisfaction. He is the LAST person on earth that anyone would think would just walk out on his wife... he was the guy that always does the right thing, has morals, would never cheat, lie, has integrity, the whole nine. Walking out on me not only blindsided me - but our families, my friends, his friends, everyone. His reasoning is that he has not had 'feelings' for me since he returned from Iraq in 2007. Of course... I'm thinking, then why did you propose to me? Why did you have children with me? He believes that him leaving now is the right thing to do since it frees me to find someone while I'm still young (I'm 29 now). Thanks a bunch... so thoughtful!
I have three children... the oldest is 13 (Derek - from a prior relationship), a toddler (Reagan - almost 16 months), and an infant (Ethan - almost 5 months). Yeah... we had kids in a hurry. Married in August 2008, Reagan arrived October 2009, and Ethan joined us on September 2010! So, now I'm left being a single mom of a 13 year old and irish twins. Don't get me wrong.... my kids are my WORLD! I love them so much it hurts... I adore those kids and I would do anything for them. I'm just incredibly sad that after having a baby at 15, and being a single mom for a long time, I finally thought I found the love of my life and was actually going to have a family. I don't understand why it seems so hard for me to have children with someone and actually have a family instead of being a single mother. Anyway.... enough of feeling sorry for myself.
I know this.... I am BEAUTIFUL. COURAGEOUS. INTELLIGENT. SMART. FUNNY. LOVING. CARING. GENEROUS. SEXY. A GREAT MOM. COMPASSIONATE. PASSIONATE. QUIRKY. SILLY. DETERMINED. DRIVEN. AWESOME! I truly believe in these things about me... and that NO ONE can take these things away from me.
I'm hoping that keeping a blog of my journey to happiness will help me regroup... help me find a way forward. Not really sure how this is going to work out, but HERE I GO!!!!
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